50 Ways to Say 'Layoffs' (Insider Comms™ From Paramount Global)

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Paul Simon sang of “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” Somewhere in a dingy East Village basement bar an exec comms pro chasing dreams of being Jewel’s opening act sings her version, “50 Ways to Announce Layoffs.”

Simon’s catchy tune came to mind as I read the memo from Bob Bakish (👇) announcing layoffs at Paramount Global, home to Sponge Bob, Top Gun, Comedy Central, and other iconic entertainment brands. Bakish sang wrote:

…we will begin the difficult process of saying goodbye to some of our very valued colleagues…

• Goodness, that’s a clunky line.

In simpler language: Today we’re laying off N employees…

• Bakish isn’t the only one who trips over himself to avoid calling a spade a spade. Comms pros use plenty of euphemisms to avoid the nasty L-word, “reduction in force” (RIF) being currently popular.

Layoff notes aren’t easy, but that doesn’t mean the news needs to be muffled by verbal throw pillows. On Mister Editorial’s Insider Comms™ page you can read several memos from CEOs who do a better job delivering the news straight, such as:

• “As a result, we have made the difficult decision to reduce the size of our team by approximately 20%.” (Snap)

• “These shifts are leading us to discontinue some initiatives, which is resulting in several hundred roles being eliminated…” (Alexa)

• “I’m sad to share that we must say goodbye to approximately 225 team members, reducing the Etsy workforce by ~11%.” (Etsy)

• “…I regret having to share that we are taking the painful step to reduce our headcount by just over 500 people across Twitch.” (Twitch)

What do the above job-killing statements have in common that Bakish’s announcement lacks? Numbers. Nowhere in his memo does Bakish put “cost trimming” into context, i.e., that ~800 employees (3% of the workforce) is being let go.

• Sometimes the unknown magnitude—Is it primarily one department? Is the entire ship sinking?—is more unnerving than the actual news.

Bakish should have been more sensitive, knowing that ambiguous language could only fuel speculation.

• After all, the announcement happened when Paramount Global was a target of several M&A scenarios.

• Since then, the company has agreed to be acquired by Skydance Media.

• Oh, and in a fateful twist, two months after he sent this email, Bakish was pushed out of the company. I wonder what the memo to him looked like…

image via Hannah Wernecke

The lack of empathy is one of several shortcomings to the Paramount layoff memo. Here are four more suggestions for improvement: